Hi Friend,

I'm really excited to share this new podcast episode with you. This episode, in addition to being really interesting, resembles some of the (usually unrecorded) tender spiritual direction calls that I have the honor of engaging in with my clients, which I always consider to be sacred, special, and beautiful. So it's pretty cool (and a bit vulnerable) to be able to share some of that here.

But first, before I share more about this new episode, I want to acknowledge the chaos-filled moment we (esp in the United States) are in. Maybe you are watching ICE surround your neighborhood - many folks are telling me how eerily quiet their neighborhoods have become; maybe you lost a research grant or an international project that you took years to cultivate, pouring so much of your brilliance into, has been paused/halted. Maybe you are needing to change your job...fast.   There are so many layers. Of shock and awe. Of existential dread. And of continuation… for some, this moment offers no surprise at all. You've been living some version of it for a while.

I know I'm actively doing some re-orientation and deepening/broadening my analysis. These days I tend to channel my observations more into conversation  than written material.  As several folks have asked me to write some of what I'm finding, I will do more writing.  I'm also working on a podcast episode about the Apocalypse (which I started in December - before the LA fires... and it seems to keep getting more relevant!)

I do want to briefly share an inquiry/process/activity that I've found recently found helpful. It was sparked by something I heard Pat McCabe (Woman Stands Shining) say. This past year, I've gotten a chance of getting to know Pat much better, as we have been in many shared spaces together as part of larger initiatives we are both involved in.

Last week, as I was listening to a recorded conversation that Pat was a part of, she discussed the (overarching and continual) importance of shedding/releasing, including for those people who bleed monthly to properly return their Moon Blood to Earth; and the importance of taking down our altars after a ceremony.

Take down the altar. Yes. That phrase stuck with me, rattling around my mind, like  something I needed.

For myself, yes.

And for the collective? Symbolically, I wondered, what have we been placing on the altar that this moment invites us to take down? (This has led to some really rich writing/brainstorming - if you are looking for prompts, I encourage this one in your own creative writing practice!).

I took down my own altar, and sat with the emptiness of it, for several days.

It felt so good. The emptiness. The starkness of it. A way I could say: I am willing to take down what I thought was what mattered and listen to what You, oh Gracious One, are telling me now.

I found myself drawn before my own empty altar when I called my own spiritual director, and we talked about some of the recent spiritual teachings and insights I have been receiving from some of my own Guides, and the immensely complex emotions they elicited. With her, I was able to cry.

After a few days,  I awoke with a clear knowledge of some of what I had to put back on my altar. In comparison to what was there before, this one is quite sparse. And very much in use. 

One of the things that made it onto my altar this time (to my surprise) was an (adorable) container of bubbles - as in,  for blowing bubbles. It came from a wedding I helped to design many years ago, where the couple had everyone blow bubbles instead of throwing rice - a super sweet (and more sustainable) choice. I'm now making sure to actually blow bubbles. Because it's so pretty, and playful, and life is about beauty. And play.

These are times when we need to increase our capacity to safeguard our own joy. Including playing. 

Which, in a way, brings me to this podcast. Which has a lot of joy intertwined with insight, courage and tenderness. It is a podcast about working through and with legacies from our ancestors. 

This is a really unusual podcast episode for me because neither Aubrey nor I planned it.... and because it is the closest thing to the kind of tender, intimate 1-1 work that I do with people that I've ever gotten on tape.

So here's a quick background of how this came to be.

I met Aubrey at that podcasting conference I keep mentioning, back in October, in Salt Lake City. Aubrey has her own podcast, Faith Matters, which highlights aspects of the Mormon faith. She is an immensely bright, cheerful, and bubbly person. I had mentioned something about my work with legacies and inheritances, and she came up to me during a break (where there was, as always, far more sugar than all of us non-Salt Lake City-ers had any idea what to do with), and started asking me questions about multi-generational messages. As we started talking, it was also clear that this could be one of those really important conversations for her - a conversation that could make a difference. I asked if she'd be open to recording it. She was ecstatic.

Given how vulnerable the conversation ended up being, I asked her at the end of our recording: are you sure you want this to go out there into the world?

And she said, "Sara Jolena, this is the kind of conversation I've been wanting to listen to for years. I crave being able to listen in to these kinds of conversations. If I had heard this a few years ago, it might have helped me. So I want this out there, because maybe another woman, another person, might find it helpful, too."

Well. I can't say no to that!

It's a conversation about working with intergenerational trauma on the feminine/female line; about her grandmother's letters; about what it means to be a woman of her faith; about embodied yeses and nos, about what it means to grow up and to listen to God and to trust her own inner wisdom. About learning to be ok with who she is, even when that's different. Yes, there's tears.

It's not x-rated or anything, but it is emotional.

I think it's a story/conversation that at its heart crosses genders and times and cultures and religions. And there is something about this coming from her particular context - a young woman, a mother, in particular Christian (LDS/Mormon) context, at a time when misogyny is rising, that is part of what makes this conversation so powerful. like - oh, right. This is also possible.

I'm curious if you would like to hear more of these kinds of episodes. (At least one other person who wants to do something like this for the podcast...)

Oh - and I'm going to be having a formal webinar about engaging with me in 1-1 work in March (I realized it might help people who want to work with me if I, you know, made it easier to do so!)

And - if you feel inspired to take down your own altar, or if you end up doing some inspired writing on the question of, "what do we need to take off of our collective altar", I'd love to hear about it!

Blessings to the ways you find to turn towards beauty.

- Sara Jolena