Path to Union: Fear of the Lord
Part B
By Nita LaFond Johnson
8.26.21
From last week:
I was very young in the Lord when He introduced me to the Fear of the Lord. It changed my life. The changes that it provoked still cycle through my soul every day. Everything He says to do, do and desire; everything He desires of you, engage your will to give Him. It is not that I do not sometimes have to fight the enemy. Satan loves the mind; that is his playground. Sometimes I have to fight that, but every vital part of me rests in Him, not the things of the soul. When I allow myself to continue in that rest, I find that the thing that secures every step is the Fear of the Lord.
Let me take one minute to share a significant experience with you. I would rather you hear the Scripture than my experiences, but often my experiences are given to me for your sake. It is not to exalt me. Neither am I here to exalt myself but Him. He promises that if He be lifted up, He will draw all men unto, not me, but Himself. That is my heart’s cry.
Let me share what it means to love and fear the
Fear of the Lord. I was very young, maybe two years old, in the Lord. I knew I had a call on my life and was trying to prepare for that call.
My sister and her husband had taken my daughter to a theme park in the south. I knew Ricci would enjoy being with family, so I let her go. They went fully intending to have a wonderfully joyous time. I stayed home because I wanted to see what it would be like to have a whole weekend in the presence of God as deep as He would let me go at my young age. I stayed and prayed. As I was praying, I began to sing a very new song. It was, I think, by Maranatha Singers. I am not positive about that, but a group like that. The song was, I exalt Thee!
I sang this song and walked around the living room, worshiping the Lord. Suddenly, Jesus began to enter in stages. The first thing He did was make His presence known. The longer it took, the more I became introduced to the Holiness of God in a way that I and very little of the American Church had ever experienced.
His presence in the room was so holy that I struggled to walk. I could no longer praise or worship Him with my mouth because He was so holy. I sensed I was diminishing the Holiness of His presence by worshiping Him with my mouth. I stopped using my mouth and started worshiping Him with my heart in tears. As I did this, His Holiness became higher, more profound, denser, and more holy to the point that I could not keep walking.
God confronted me with this presence as a young believer. I had never experienced or known there was such a thing. It had nothing to do with me but everything to do with Him. I knew that it was His Holiness that I was experiencing. How did I know? I knew I was wrapped in that, as He made that known to me. I could no longer move. I stood there worshiping Him in my heart. Suddenly, Jesus walked into my room bodily. He was suddenly there right in front of me. When He came in, I went down. No one was holding me, no one was catching me, and no one was making sure that I did not get hurt. I went down on my face. I began to shake and tremble violently because His Holiness was entering me. It was not just cocooning me. This Holiness that He allowed me to experience was so extravagant that I became mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually undone.
When I finally came to a state of some calmness, I said to Him, “Lord.” I did not use words; I said them from my heart. I was too terrified to speak to Him from my mouth because it seemed like anything about my flesh did not, could not, and was not perfected enough in His Holiness to dare talk to Him with it. I spoke to Him spirit to Spirit, heart to heart. I said, “Lord, I love You so much.” Tears are flowing down my eyes. “I love You so much. I want You to talk to me, but I am terrified that if You do, I will die. I am terrified of this Holiness but do not want You to leave. I do not want the Holiness to leave. It is so beautiful. It is so terrifying, but it is also so beautiful. Please do not go. Please help me to stay here for a while longer.” He imparted a bit of grace and talked to me about many things. I understood Who He was because of what He was saying. His words entered my heart, spirit, and soul, wrapped in the essence of Holiness. That night was glorious. This newly discovered presence of God had enraptured my soul.
Finally, I went to bed and was able to get to sleep.
To be continued next week…
In Him,
Nita Johnson