Subject: Why Forgive ~ When you have every reason not to!

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Why Forgive ~ When you have every reason not to.
Hi Friend

Why is it so easy to hold a grudge and so difficult to forgive?? 

Perhaps you’ve been hurt by a parent, a colleague, a partner having an affair, why should you forgive this? Perhaps your life has been changed forever and you’re angry and want revenge. 

You can’t simply NOT think of what happened. It happened ~ and there can be complete loss of trust.
So don’t forget. However, that being said, forgiveness is NOT for the sake of the other person. It’s about YOU. So even if you have every reason not to, here’s what holding a grudge and not forgiving will do to you:

1) Create anxiety, stress and hostility

2) Raise your blood pressure

3) Create symptoms of depression

4) Lower your immune system

5) Lesson your heart health

6) Lower your self-esteem

7) Add bitterness into your relationships and experiences

8) Become wrapped up in past wrong-doing and lose pleasure in the present

9) Lose valuable and enriching connectedness with others

And if that didn’t convince you, there are multiple studies that confirm the finding that loss of forgiveness correlates with these facts. 

Scientifically, when you don’t forgive, you release all the brain chemicals that create a stress response. So if you hold a grudge, and think of it 20x a day or even more, those stress hormones react negatively on your body. 

Yes, there truly IS a mind and body connection.

So, how do you let it go when you’re angry, and you have every reason to be?

1) Consider the benefit, to yourself.

2) Think about the facts, your reaction and how it’s affected your life, health and well-being

3) Choose to forgive the offender, when you're ready to do so.

4) Choose not to be a victim and not to release the control and power the offending person and situation has in your life.

All the time, I’m asked, “How can I stay married to this man after what he’s done?” or “How can I ever trust her again?” The answer is simple: Ask yourself this: Do you want to throw it all away, or is it worth working at? 

 If the answer is YES - Forgive. As you let go of your anger, you’ll no longer feel the deep hurt, or have the other person’s reactions control you.

This is about accepting, not forgetting. 

You never have to condone what has happened; forgiving simply allows you to move on. And if the problem is in a relationship, it will allow you to have a renewed and perhaps better relationship with your partner. 

But whatever the situation or the person you choose to forgive, one thing is certain: You’ll have a more caring and peaceful relationship with yourself.

Have you forgiven an offender? Has it liberated you? I’d love to know.
Don't forget, when you have one of those 'I really should do something about this' moments, contact me for a free consultation. 

Never forget that you're awesome and that it's always a good thing to be a little twisted!



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Beverley Glazer MA., ICACC., has counseled and coached thousands of clients struggling with family, career, health and addiction issues for over 25 years. Among her teachers was the founder of Rational Emotive Therapy, the legendary Dr. Albert Ellis. Bev has the unique ability to put people at ease, instilling them with confidence and providing them with the direction to overcome difficulties, and become empowered in a minimum amount of time. She is a guest speaker, writer, the former host of her own AM radio show and staff writer for the Millennial addiction website Stop-frying-your-brain. 
Queen Elizabeth Health Complex, 2100 Marlowe #320
Montreal, QC Canada H4A 3L5

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